we bleed like water colors and drunken pastels down the stairways

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrWTc4lG8lI
if you do so then my girlfriend will find out,
don't put glitter on you,
because you can't let it stick to my clothes...
 
gyahh this song gets stuck in your head easily.
 
this song doesn't send out the best message, but whatever. :P
 
i haven't been on lately at all... kinda obvious... i might make a few sets now and then,
 
i actually got really interested in kpop at the start of the summer so now i'm kinda obsessed :o
 
shinee is my bias band, but i like teen top, and i love this song! l.joe is my bias in teen top.
 
please follow me on tumblr!
http://deviouslypink.tumblr.com/

right now i'm going to take a little moment, and be serious.
 
this tuesday is the anniversary of a death of a man who was not only an amazing drummer, but a good person.
 
james owen sullivan died on december 28th, 2009, from drug overdose. i didn't care too much to look into the details on whether it was suicide or not, i just didn't want to know.
 
this guy is the best drummer on earth.
 
i have no doubt.
 
when i found out, my mom had emailed me the article, and i was shocked, but not too concerned.
 
recently, over the past year since then i've gotten more and more attached to the avenged sevenfold music, and the guys as well.
 
jimmy was always the funny one, and he had the best expressions and quotes.
 
i admit, last night was the first time i heard 'so far away' and 'fiction.'
 
they brought me to tears.
 
i never knew this guy, and it doesn't really make sense (even to me) why i'm elaborating on this like i am, but i just want to say that i love jimmy.
 
the rev.
 
we all miss you, your boys, your fans and me.
 
"the rev isn't dead. he's teaching god how to play the drums."
 
<3
 
rip, james sullivan.

if this was my santa claus i'd stay up all night, and i'd drag him under the mistletoe. ;3
 
so i got some glamour kills stuff, and hello kitty pajamas, and a laptop case and gift cards and a zombie survival guide! :) i got more stuff but yeahh.
 
happy holidays.
 
merry christmas guys!
 
kiss my ass.

:}
andrew vanwyngarden
alex gaskarth
john o'callaghan
mitch hewer
iwan rheon
brendon urie

oh god, i thought i'd forgotten your name {;
 
and the ones that fit are surprisingly contagious :)
 
oh god, i though had misplaced your secret

(I realize that people I know face to face might read this, and people mentioned in here might read this, but that might make things a little easier, or maybe they'd realize, so I'm just going to leave this here.)
 
i mean,
 
not much
 
is different from my story
 
and anybody else's,
 
but it's just easier to rant,
 
right now.
 
right now
 
my friend relationships
 
are being put on a strain.
 
i'm not really close with anyone
 
anymore,
 
and i kind of like it.
 
i don't have a friend group,
 
or a best friend,
 
and it's fine with me, really.
 
but i just want someone,
 
so i like this guy, and he's fucking gorgeous.
 
in my eyes at least,
and he flirts with everyone except me.
 
or at least it feels like it.
 
i have guy friends i guess,
 
and i'm friends with some "popular" people,
 
but i really wouldn't consider myself "popular," in school
 
and i guess he is?
 
anyways,
 
he got out of a big relationship in august,
 
and i always kinda liked him
 
so i just bundled up those feelings
 
and as soon as school started
 
i developed a crush.
 
i've definitely been crushing from afar.
 
or close distance,
 
considering his locker is two away from mine.
 
and he's in my homeroom,
 
and his lunch table is right next to mine
 
but the thing is,
 
i always "wingwoman" for my friends,
 
but they don't do the same for me.
 
i got my friend's boyfriend to ask her out (well, now he's an ex but that's not my fault).
 
but the girl who i'm friends with,
 
and i'm "married" to on facebook,
 
i've asked her... twice? maybe?
 
and nothing.
 
she doesn't do anything..
she's friends with him,
 
maybe she just likes that he likes her better.
 
she says he likes someone else,
 
and it's not me or her,
 
so then the thing that i don't get,
 
is why she can't try and change that?
 
i mean,
 
i've known guys who
 
like one girl,
 
and then after they find out a girl likes them
 
after a while they see her in a different light,
 
and they date.
 
or whatever.
 
the girl he was in a relationship with,
 
i think they still like each other
 
because i always see them walking down the halls together,
 
and they're walking to school together,
 
or today they were walking home together,
 
and it made me sad
 
(even though he gave me a high five when i passed him)
 
just because,
 
i dunno,
 
it's hard to find out what's going on between them,
 
when i'm not really close with her anymore,
 
and i don't hang out with them
 
and i don't really live in their world,
 
i know people outside of school who,
 
frankly,
 
i like better
 
then most people..
 
but sometimes,
 
i really feel like,
 
i need him,
 
because he's so gorgeous,
 
and i just can see us together...
 
even thought it's so obvious he doesn't like me...
 
it's so hard.
 
i think about cutting myself
 
everyday
 
suicide
 
everyday
 
i know i'll find someone,
 
and i know that it just takes time for some people
 
but it feels like
 
the drugs,
 
the "friends,"
 
the shows,
 
movies,
 
things i do,
 
even the music,
 
isn't enough and i have to either make up my own world,
 
live in his,
 

or die?
 
doesn't seem like much of a choice.
 
i want a boyfriend,
 
but i want to choose who i want to date,
 
and i don't want one given to me..
 
and i know guys like me,
 
but i can't turn on the feeling for them,
 
it just doesn't work,
 
and i don't like them like that..
 
but i realize that this must be how he feels about me,
 
and this is how he feels
 
when i look at him that way
 
that horrible feeling
 
like you're killing somebody's dreams
 
or watching them die
 
when you could have done something
 
and maybe that's a little extreme,
 
but it's true, isn't it?
 
it's true,
 
and it sucks..
 
i've felt lonely
 
for what's felt like
 
a really long time now,
 
and i just wish all those feelings would go away,
 
and they do go away,
 
when you drown it out,
 
but then you're left with
 
a hangover
 
or feeling trashed
 
or a headache
 
and those feelings come back.
 
my life is fucked up,
 
but don't make it any fuckier.
 
fuckier.
 
word?
 

 

 
i want him..
 
or someone like him
 

 

 

 

 

i wish
 
i wasn't so
 
crushing
 
for him
 
and i just wish
 
i wasn't crushing at all.
 
guys are stupid
 
and they suck.
 
the end.

even though his name is a horrible thing to try and spell, jwitz is adorable.
 
he's the maine attraction to the ready set, and he's so sweet.
 
his music and videos are catchy and creative, and he's a awesome person!
 
he highfived me at bamboozleeeee.